Tag: revising

Run, Don’t Walk

Run, Don’t Walk

22 February 2018

The official countdown begins. The day is nearing where I can finally close a door to an old life; one that I had no choice but to exit after being harshly and suddenly abandoned, but have been soaring ever since, and I am a happier person. Have to be. I had to find pieces of myself that I lost. I am still finding a more permanent “normal,” but will find something in this temporary state.

I took some time last night, while packing a suitcase, to enjoy the peace in my new home. I’m almost there. Scraps of clutter still linger in a house I am prepared to leave. I’ve only been sleeping there these past two weeks; I’ve been eating and unpacking at my new place, and Duke has been doing the same…except the unpacking part.  I was able to enjoy watching some of the Olympics, which I haven’t been doing because I’ve been between and writing in a different spot.

With upcoming travel, I do notice how quiet it really is without Duke. He silently fills in spaces of rooms I occupy, which can be many as I move around often. Plus, he’s been sick with a sinus infection, so I’ve had to deal with his excessive urination because of the prednisone he’s been on.  Poor little guy. He’s been traveling back and forth with me, as we both adjust and he seems to like the new place. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s never returning to the house. When I pick him up after returning from travel, he will go straight to our new home. I have moved the last pieces of his things. These may seem like small steps to me, but I know it’s more like a longer stride.

While on the subject of my dog, he bounded in from outside Tuesday night, after 1:30am, running like a crazy dog, with a look on his face that told me he was trying to be friendly, but had also done a bad thing. Yep. The neighborhood skunk was in the back yard again. We’ve seen it cross the street as we’re walking some days. It’s a nuisance. As he was trying to shake himself of the smell, I flat out told him, “The skunk is not a friendly animal for you to befriend. It’s not a cat!” He cocks his head off to the side, as if discerning what I’m telling him, and knowing I’m right.

So now the house smells like a skunk. I am trying to air it out. I will have to place air fresheners all over the house and that’s going to thrill my ex-husband to no end. I don’t care. I could be a bitch and leave it for him to deal with or take the high road; something I keep doing, but I do it for me, not for him. I really have gotten to the point where I don’t care about him, don’t care about what he’s doing. I…don’t…care. It’s refreshing to say this. However, Duke and the skunk have long since parted ways and the smell is bad. I had to give him another peroxide/baking soda/Dawn bath, and follow up with shampoo. The Nexus is at the new home, so he got a Pantene shampoo. He was rather fluffy before the day was over. HAHA I know he hasn’t been thrilled about me going out every night, but I have been spending the days with him since I haven’t been working.  Between his excessive peeing all over the place and the skunk incident, I can’t yell at him or scold him. He knows he’s done wrong, but I do know he’s stressing a little. He’s seen me having numerous meltdowns over the past two weeks, and shit just gets heavy. He does come to my side when I crumble. He is still my little rock. I am so thankful to have him. He’s been a blessing.

With my new writing location, I’ve been able to knock out a couple of hours of work before social interruptions begin. I don’t mind. It’s actually part of my research, and oh what fun I am having! I am feeling a bit stuck with The Downfall. I’ve reached a point where I can really begin to move the plot forward, but trying to figure out how to do it. Because this book is so important to me, and I need to finish it as part of my healing process, I need to break away from stressing about word counts and let it all click. With travel, getting away should help. I always feel better when I’m not where I reside.

Writers are constantly creating worlds and people. We also have a pile of ideas waiting to be penned. We need to work on our platform. I’ve been doing this for a while, but extending it beginning March 1: the day I emerge from a different door. Exciting times ahead, that’s for sure! I am constantly networking personally and professionally. I do not hesitate to mention this blog and what I’m writing. When asked, “What is your book about,” I take this as another instance to practice my pitch…that I’m still trying to refine. It’s getting there.

Revisions are under way with Seeing in the Dark, my thesis-turned-novel. I have finished revisions in Manna, my sci-fi short story. Once I am settled in, I will focus on queries. It’s time. Life will become business as usual with writing every night; occasionally taking myself out to write, not every night. It’s good to mix it up.

The job hunt is still in progress. I am also speaking at a student symposium, then taking a few days to spend with family. I am tweaking my soft skills presentation, but can give the talk in my sleep and without slides.

All of this means travel writing-my favorite part of being a writer. Flying offers a chance to put my earbuds in, play music, and focus on writing or revising. There aren’t a gazillion distractions. As much as I enjoy watching movies, I have a tendency to fall asleep, so I avoid watching on planes. Once upon a time I used to sleep. That went by the wayside of the do-do bird (pardon the cliché) beginning September 2016. Now I know why; it was during a time when my ex-husband was beginning to spend more time talking to females (one in particular) while trying to control and manipulate me. It was about him. It still is. That’s what a narcissist does.

The thoughts in my head have emptied out, making room for new words that can be used in The Downfall. But first, I must finish revising my presentation, and it’s not going to morph into a machine that will do it without my help.

Have a great weekend my dear readers. Thank you for following and reading. I will return next week with 1-2 more posts. I am running towards the finish line that will give me closure. I expect my writing to flourish once again.

Duke, all clean once again. He has such a personality.


Riding the Rails

Riding the Rails

27 May 2017

I love roller coasters.  I’ve always loved roller coasters.  There’s something to be said about the unknown, especially as a first-time rider.  Whether the ride is on wood or steel, the adrenaline rush of being whipped, zipped, cork-screwed, and turned upside down and around is thrilling.  It begins with the anticipation, standing in line, watching the carts working with and defying gravity.  You are getting closer to the front of the line.  Do you ask to sit in front, to be the first witness at that 90-degree plunge, or do you ask to sit in the back, when you are the last to see what unfolds in front of you as you are slightly lifted from your seat?  Or do you stay within the middle?

A few summers ago, I was at Cedar Point, Sandusky, Ohio.  Their claim to fame is being the roller coaster capital of the world.  Rollers coasters are the only rides in this park, so if you’re not a fan, it’s not worth the trip.  It was an overcast, turned rainy day.  I was standing in line for the Millenium Force.  I was under shelter for a bit, but as I got closer to the front of the line, it started to rain hard.  I watched the cars ascend the track at a vertical pace.  You are not harnessed in; you have a lap bar.  I was seriously doubting whether I wanted to get on this ride.  A vertical ascension with just a lap bar?  Um…not sure.  I have never doubted a ride, but at this moment I was voicing my doubts, recognizing a fear.  Still, I wanted to know what was beyond that ascension.  Where was the drop?  What was going to feed into the adrenaline rush?

I was drenched and cold.  It was my turn.  I stepped into the car, and pulled the lap bar down as far as it could go. It locked me in.  I pushed up on the bar several times, assuring me I wasn’t going anywhere, but the fear remained.  The ride began, and I went up, followed by going straight down.  Then began the adventure of careening through tunnels, around corners, back up (a progressive incline) and down, at well over 90 miles an hour.  The rush was back, and the ride was over in a matter of minutes.  I walked off…completely dry.  I was all smiles, reflecting on what a great ride it was, but my day at the park was also ending.  The line was long; there wasn’t an opportunity to ride it again.

I am looking at the last three Saturdays and Sundays, the last two Monday-Fridays, of my education.  It’s crazy that I’m nearly done!  I don’t think there has been a single moment in my life when I haven’t felt the waves of emotions that I have been hit with this term, this year, this past week and a half.

I began my ride of anticipation, seeking an adrenaline rush to end with smiles a week ago Wednesday.  The ride wasn’t what I envisioned it would be.  It felt more like the small coaster ride in Toon Town at Disneyland; there is a single moment you’re at the top and can see the Sierra Nevadas before they disappear the moment the coaster drops.  I got to see out, but was reigned back in.  This has been my ride for a week.

The next ride I’ve experienced mimics a combination of Space Mountain and the Millenium Force, beginning last Thursday.  From a brief moment of life, I sped into the darkness, unable to see anything but the stars and black “sky” in a vast abyss.  As I exited, I realized I had to finish the last 5,000 words of my thesis/novel.  I spent the entire weekend and Monday in darkness.  I shut out the world, closing in on the dark hours.  By Tuesday, I was preparing for the next ride, and struggling to get 500 words in.  I was around strangers on Wednesday, and felt a need to be with friends instead.  I was on my second day back at the gym, and still walking with Duke every night.  The gym erased the darkness and drowning feeling; I had some clarity.  I wrote Wednesday night, but it wasn’t enough.

I got up early Thursday to write some more before I returned to work (first day since the beginning of May).  649 words.  By 9:10am, waiting for my number to be called at the local motor vehicle office, I was anticipating a fear once again: I was not going to finish the story, and get it turned in before midnight.  Especially not with other matters I was dealing with all week, and knowing I had one other assignment due that same night.

I don’t remember what happened (perhaps I simply blocked out life), but I was back to writing at noon.  I took a couple small breaks in the afternoon to wrote some more.  I left work before 5:00, tossed a turkey burger patty in the microwave, added a heaping helping of spinach and shredded carrots to my plate, grabbed a small glass of Chardonnay, and sat at my computer to write.  I wrote for two and a half solid hours.  By 7:25pm, I had 5,040 words, and was on the Millienium Force after the first initial drop.  I took a moment to celebrate with smiles and tears; add in laughter as I looked at Duke and said, “I can’t believe I did it!”  He celebrated with me, wagging his tail, allowing me to give him a big hug.  The first draft of my novel was complete and submitted. I grabbed a special bottle of wine, and visited with some friends for a few hours after.  It was the perfect ending to my week. And…I got to know a little more about Red Nose Day, and told I need to watch “Love Actually.”  (It’s on my list, ladies!!  You’re always welcome over for movie night.)

The ride, and writing, is not over yet!  I’m on a new coaster, a new segment for the next 8 days, working on revisions: from the very beginning to the very end.  This isn’t the coaster ride I have been waiting for, but it’s new as I try to finish up.  There will be new waves of emotions, but I hear my cheering squad, from all over the globe, behind me.  This will be a book many are excited to read.  I am simply excited that I can say I have begun to revise my first draft…after I offer two peer critiques on their final 5k words, and provide two more critiques on our literature research papers.  Still, I’m revising!

If you’re curious about the Millenium Force, check out the coaster video Cedar Point has on their website.  If you’re a coaster fan-this should be on your bucket list.

Have a great weekend!