Tag: clutter



18 May 2017

A superhero demonstrates powers beyond human. Not everyone can have superpowers.  In my mind, these are the following qualities:

  • Overcome immense adversity (my Wasband doesn’t count. Nor does the whore)
  • Find a way to rise above (see parentheses above)
  • Portray a human characteristic
  • Use powers for the betterment of humanity (can’t do this if you don’t possess any powers. Again, see parentheses above)
  • Thinking you’re a king and queen. Imposters don’t belong.  This does not fit into the super hero dynamic.  Wasbands and whores who address each other as a king and queen need a reality check and get out of Fantasyland. They don’t belong there either.

I belong with the superheroes.  I am Wonder Woman.  No, really.  She was my idol growing up. I even had WW Underoos, but they stayed hidden because superheroes only transform during cries for help; then they’re true selves are shown.  Plus, Underoos were glorified underwear.  Today, I don’t even think they could pass for a costume; they were that skimpy.

Wonder Woman’s background is interesting.  She is part Amazon with a Greek history in her lineage.  She is smart and beautiful.  She has an aura about her.  She could deflect anything with her gold bracelets.

I have managed to survive a cruise ship, nine days in Chile, 2 ½ months living under the same roof, getting through 2 ¾ terms of school, work, and a pending divorce.  If I was still sharing a residence, I know I would not be where I am today…at all.  I sat still, furiously fidgeting, for four months, cleaned up some clutter, made the house my own, and still trying to make the perfect lemonade drink.   I created boundaries (deflecting things that could bring harm) and have said ‘no more.’

I have always embraced my independence.  It’s who I am.  I am a strong woman and welcoming the liberation a life that was tossed away (not my choice).  I still stumble, but I also stopped trying once I recognized I wasn’t wanted.  I bargained for a brief, dark moment at the onset of the Wasband’s confession, but I quickly dropped it once I saw his true colors floating in front of my eyes.  There was no fix to this.  At least not on my end.  The damage from the battlefield added to more things irreparable.

Wonder Woman is a warrior.  I am a warrior.  There is an acute degree of strength within myself, and it really comes out after dark moments and even a few bad days.  I possess power and grace.  I belong to an elite group.  I am confident.  I am a role model.  I am paving my own path to become my own special super heroine.  I am.




16 February 2017

Fifteen years is a long time to invest in a relationship.  It’s also a long time to accumulate memories and clutter.  I have another sticky note on my desk, where I spend a significant amount of time working on homework and writing my thesis, that says, “DUMP THE CLUTTER.”  That’s it.  All caps.  It doesn’t need to say anything else.

There is clutter in my house and then there is clutter.  At least once a week I pick a box or a tote and empty it out.  Lately, I have been tossing out two to three garbage bags of clutter that has mysteriously accumulated.  In life, it’s easy to get sidetracked and not pay attention to some of the things we once used to do.  Like, for instance, tossing out junk mail right away.  While I have gotten better at this, I can honestly say I was the one left dealing with so many things.  This, basically in a nutshell, became another type of clutter.  This clutter would come back to try to bite me in the ass, but I have a superpower deflector shield that wouldn’t let narcissistic tendencies take control of anything.  The blame game is only good if the argument is valid.  I have heard zero valid arguments.

This is my halfway point in this term!  I am excited, but also stressing a little because I have so much more to do before the seventh week arrives and before the last (10th) week gets here.  I do not perceive this as clutter.

I am working on the next few chapters of my thesis and Natalie hasn’t learned that her life is also full of clutter.  She suspects there’s something not right, but can only begin to guess.

It’s hard to see the large piles of clutter if you’re not in the moment and off somewhere else.  Clutter doesn’t exist in Fantasy Land…at least, not that we know of.  I haven’t been there, but know of someone who is visiting right now.  With that said, I am guessing even if there was clutter in the fantasy world, it’s not going to be seen by the people who don’t have any respect for life…despite what they say and think.  This does bring me back to Natalie, because she will need to recognize this simple fact in her life, and figure out how to dump the clutter.   Always easier said than done.

Space(s) free of clutter brings mental clarity.  A clutter-free environment is also about being at peace.

As I continue to sift through clutter around my house, through the clutter of words in my thesis, and through the clutter resting uneasily in my mind, I have begun to laugh at some of the silliness because I have decided that I am not going to let any clutter hurt me any longer, rob me of a new life I will be pursuing, and I’m certainly not going to regret tossing out anything that doesn’t have a purpose.  This clutter is not for me.