2 May 2017
Photo credit: Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_chr1′>chr1 / 123RF Stock Photo</a>
I am staring at the messes surrounding me. Fences tipped over. Boards fallen off the fence. A sprinkler system on one setting. Windows with no coverings. A china cabinet with a broken door. Holes in the walls. A satellite radio cord that came loose. An old sink rotting on the side of the house. Tools left everywhere. An old grill. Tires. Cupboards taking up space in a garage, that I’m attempting to clean (the clutter, at least). A garden full of weeds. An unfinished patio. Weeds everywhere. Boxes left behind. Everything left behind. All of this, and more, are broken promises that linger, hovering like a ghost sweeping through the walls of each room. In my family, we call it unfinished projects. In this instance, I am surrounded by promises with no intention to fulfill them.
I am left to clean everything up; something very common in a past relationship. “Just leave it. Karen will take care of it. Karen will clean up. Karen will…”
I will not take care of “things” any longer. I will leave it in a pile for someone else to deal with. I will not go through boxes, bags and totes, sifting to set the important things aside. I am sick of it. I am tired of it. I no longer have to put up with this mentality. Yet, I recognize that I also fed into this mentality, this behavior, and now need to set up boundaries to begin breaking this behavior.
This is week five and I begin to write from airports and hotels. I’ve been pinching every penny, staying put while someone else spends money, flitting from country to country; city to city, and not alone, enjoying a gazillion (unoriginal) vacations. Things seem extremely unfair while the OP gets away with everything; appears to be untouchable, yet wavers hoping that I will immediately jump on every reply. The phone calls are long gone. The texts are long gone. It’s just Google hangouts-nothing more, nothing less; the bare existence of a voice.
I am traveling for work. Friends have reached out, offering brief moments of solitude in different places, and I have gladly accepted their kindness.
Week five also means I am smack-dab in the middle of my last term, and have begun my journey into the heart of my education, thesis, and research paper writing. I am taking a break from fixing broken promises to fix myself. To take care of me.
I have moved beyond the inciting incident in my novel. There is the progressive climb into the rising action. The climax is not far off now-another 5,000 words. Chapters 8 and 9 were submitted on Sunday, and they were emotionally-charged. Nick has, once again, left Natalie to clean up and deal with things. She has just realized how often this happens. Does Nick leave a trail of broken promises? I sense Natalie is going to learn far more than she ever imagined as I begin my descent into the completion of my novel. At this time in my thesis, the characters are now breathing lives of their own and begun taking over the story.
I am looking forward to the short break away from all that engrosses my current situation, atmosphere, and life. I am looking forward to letting the ambiance of new places, familiar faces, and exciting scenery soak into my soul. I have only just begun this next journey of travel. There is more to come.