7 March 2017

Fear is the one emotion that makes us feel uncomfortable, and gets the heart and mind racing.  Fear is something we all face at one point in our lives.  Fear is a driving force behind, what I would like to think is, a wakeup call in some situations.

Fear strikes at any moment.  When tackled head-on (oh dear, it’s cliché day), it can become an emotion to embrace and rationalize with.  I was stuck in a foreign country, walking down a sidewalk next to someone who had become emotionally distant since December 1 and threw those virtual lemons at me.  Blindsided by the news, I went into shock and didn’t have the capacity to see that fear would arrive later.

Is fear also part of insecurities?  I faced my fears at they kept coming at me like darts being thrown.  No more vacations.  No more financial security.  And there were so many  more.  More than anything else-no more of what I thought was a normal life.  As each one struck my thoughts and heart, I retaliated with a positive thought.  Vacations weren’t over, just different.  I do not need a man to maintain financial security.  Life will be interesting until I find a new normal.  I drew from my inner strength to calm the mind and heart.  I made sure I sought a positive for every fear and every negative thought that spread from my brain to my heart.

As for Natalie, she didn’t understand fear until someone she knew, or thought she knew, tried to physically harm her.  Her fiancé arrived just in time to save her, but turned back away from her to his seek own selfish mission.  Natalie soon finds out she is left to cope on her own.  This is the catalyst to another fear that will creep into her mind and her heart.

This is week eight of the term.  I did not survive week seven.  I stumbled, fell, stood up and was beaten down to the ground again.  However, when Monday began, I got out of bed, stood back up with my chin up and proceeded to make it a new day and a new beginning for this term.  With my support system in place, I had no choice but to take another day to brush the dirt off my clothes and sweep the dust swirl out of my mind.  With sleep (finally!), I am finishing this Tuesday in a strong way.  I am focused on my classwork this week, and looking forward to returning to the gym now that I have returned to a healthy state…for whatever that constitutes during this limbo period.

So, I say to fear-bring it on!  Once you’ve had to face so many fears in one fairly small moment in time and conquer them, you become almost fearless.



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