16 February 2017

Fifteen years is a long time to invest in a relationship.  It’s also a long time to accumulate memories and clutter.  I have another sticky note on my desk, where I spend a significant amount of time working on homework and writing my thesis, that says, “DUMP THE CLUTTER.”  That’s it.  All caps.  It doesn’t need to say anything else.

There is clutter in my house and then there is clutter.  At least once a week I pick a box or a tote and empty it out.  Lately, I have been tossing out two to three garbage bags of clutter that has mysteriously accumulated.  In life, it’s easy to get sidetracked and not pay attention to some of the things we once used to do.  Like, for instance, tossing out junk mail right away.  While I have gotten better at this, I can honestly say I was the one left dealing with so many things.  This, basically in a nutshell, became another type of clutter.  This clutter would come back to try to bite me in the ass, but I have a superpower deflector shield that wouldn’t let narcissistic tendencies take control of anything.  The blame game is only good if the argument is valid.  I have heard zero valid arguments.

This is my halfway point in this term!  I am excited, but also stressing a little because I have so much more to do before the seventh week arrives and before the last (10th) week gets here.  I do not perceive this as clutter.

I am working on the next few chapters of my thesis and Natalie hasn’t learned that her life is also full of clutter.  She suspects there’s something not right, but can only begin to guess.

It’s hard to see the large piles of clutter if you’re not in the moment and off somewhere else.  Clutter doesn’t exist in Fantasy Land…at least, not that we know of.  I haven’t been there, but know of someone who is visiting right now.  With that said, I am guessing even if there was clutter in the fantasy world, it’s not going to be seen by the people who don’t have any respect for life…despite what they say and think.  This does bring me back to Natalie, because she will need to recognize this simple fact in her life, and figure out how to dump the clutter.   Always easier said than done.

Space(s) free of clutter brings mental clarity.  A clutter-free environment is also about being at peace.

As I continue to sift through clutter around my house, through the clutter of words in my thesis, and through the clutter resting uneasily in my mind, I have begun to laugh at some of the silliness because I have decided that I am not going to let any clutter hurt me any longer, rob me of a new life I will be pursuing, and I’m certainly not going to regret tossing out anything that doesn’t have a purpose.  This clutter is not for me.


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